Social Isolation | COVID-19
I wasn't a social person before all this went down. But, to be honest, this lockdown is killing me. I underestimated how much it would affect me and my mental health. Leaving this toxic place only a few hours a day was an escape. I appreciate the annoying bus journeys and the waiting in the cold now. I appreciate the library full of people. I miss attending REAL lectures. I miss my crowded coffee shops and empty park trails. I miss being around nature. I miss going down to the river.
Today alone, I have had several break downs and panic attacks. My mental health is at an all time low. My motivation is at an all time low. I have NEVER felt so alone, in my entire life. I have no one to talk to. Even the people I can talk to, don't and won't understand what I'm going through. I can't tell anyone my problems, and it just keeps weighing me down. I feel like I'm drowning. I feel like I'm suffocating. I feel trapped. In this house, with these people who don't get it. And what holds me down is their love. I know they mean no harm. I know they care a lot. And it's not their fault that they don't speak my language.
The only thing I can hold on to is hope, but hope is a dangerous thing.
Today alone, I have had several break downs and panic attacks. My mental health is at an all time low. My motivation is at an all time low. I have NEVER felt so alone, in my entire life. I have no one to talk to. Even the people I can talk to, don't and won't understand what I'm going through. I can't tell anyone my problems, and it just keeps weighing me down. I feel like I'm drowning. I feel like I'm suffocating. I feel trapped. In this house, with these people who don't get it. And what holds me down is their love. I know they mean no harm. I know they care a lot. And it's not their fault that they don't speak my language.
The only thing I can hold on to is hope, but hope is a dangerous thing.
I miss all the wonderful things about college too, and I know exactly what you mean by people who don't get it :( but don't worry, you can do it! You can still go on walks and what not, and there always resources online. And people do care, even if it doesn't feel like it. <3
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